Was It REALLY Ten Days Ago?!?!?

WOW, a week ago last Tuesday I was undergoing my sleeve gastrectomy.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleeve_gastrectomy I can't believe it has been over a week! The past ten days have sure been a wild ride. My time in the hospital is all kind of fuzzy. I had a morphine pump for 24 hours--which I really didn't want to use--but DID! I remember not eating much--the choices of food on my tray were less than appetizing--broth (which tasted like warm water), protein enriched jello (think of jello--that is completely opaque--yuk) and a luke warm protein shake--all of which were disgusting! Three to four times a day either Greg or the nursing staff got me up to walk--thinking back--I don't remember too many of those walks--that may have been a little dangerous--although--either Greg or a nurse was always with me--to catch me if I decided to do a face plant!! When they finally took me off the morphine pump--they tried to give me a liquid pain killer which made me sick--this in turn caused me to have to stay in the hospital an extra day. During my entire stay--my wonderful husband was right there beside me--encouraging me, scolding me and making sure I was doing what I was supposed to do. He has been a WONDERFUL nurse! I have to say--from the surgical team--headed by Anne Rogers M.D.
http://www.pennstatehershey.org/findaprovider/provider/1454http://www.pennstatehershey.org/findaprovider/provider/1454 --to the nursing staff--right down to the people emptying the trash in my room--EVERYONE at Hershey Medical Center was amazing! I appreciate the great care I was given during my stay!

Since I have been home--progress has been slow. I'm not sure what I was thinking prior to surgery--but I didn't really consider the pain--and all I can say is--IT HURTS!!!! At first--it hurt all the time--when I moved--when I swallowed anything--when I coughed--every time I took a breath. I mean--ALL THE TIME! Each day, things have gotten a bit better. It still hurts a lot on my left side--which is where they removed my stomach. However, I can now drink most liquids without too much pain. Eating the pureed food that I've been able to eat since Tuesday--still causes me a lot of pain. It feels like someone is taking a knife and sticking it under my ribcage and wiggling it around! The pain takes my breath away and literally causes me to cry out in pain. (I feel like such a winer!!) Anyway, I called the team at Hershey to ask about the pain and was told that "yes--it can be a side effect of the surgery." Those of us who are "lucky enough" to experience this type of pain--can "enjoy it" for up to four weeks!! Oh yes--just what I wanted to hear!!

My eating has been quite the experience the past 10 days. I feel like I am eating/drinking not stop each day. I can only eat small amounts--1/4 cup total at each meal. Between meals I have to have a high protein shake. I am only consuming 800 calories a day. In order to not become deficient in my vitamins and the protein I need--I have to have take multi-vitamins, calcium, and B-12 each day--and must consume a minimum of 75 grams of protein a day for the first six months. For eating so little--my life is now consumed with thinking about food. The nice thing is--I really don't feel like eating--which can be good and bad. It certainly is a change--having to force myself to eat!! :o)

The care I have received since I have been home has certainly rallied that of the crew from Hershey. My husband Greg--is an extraordinary human being. I cannot thank him enough for the incredible support, love, constant care and pampering he gives me each day! Thank You Greg--I LOVE YOU! I also need to give a shout out and a HUGE thank you to his parents--my in-laws--Paul and Peggy Buck. What an incredible job they did in raising their son!!

We have news on the new house--FINALLY!!!! We had closing on our loan last night. Things couldn't have gone more smoothly--we had closing right in our living room--talk about customer service! This means that we can break ground at anytime!! (Of course that's if the weather cooperates!) It's been a long time--but I finally feel like I can let myself get excited! By July--we should be all moved in!!

I do believe the next six months are going to fly by--I don't want to wish any of my life away--but I am so excited to see what these next six months hold! Whatever it is--Greg and I will certainly face it together--supporting each other through all the ups and downs (and I know there will be lots of those!) because that's just what we do!!

In closing--I just want to thank everyone for all the flowers, cards, e-mails, letters--I'm overwhelmed by your encouragement, concern and support. Thank You!

It's Finally Here!

Tomorrow morning at 9:15 I will entering Hershey Medical Center to have my "sleeve gastrectomy" done by Doctor Anne Rogers. By dinnertime tomorrow night--the next phase of my journey will have begun.  As I sit and write this I can't even begin to tell you what I'm feeling. Maybe that's because I'm not sure. I keep asking myself am I nervous? Yes! Am I excited? Yes! Am I scared? Heck yeah! However, I guess more than anything I'm ready--I just want it to be over. I'm not looking forward to the pain after surgery--or another week of a liquid diet--or three weeks of pureed foods (ugh) --but I am looking forward getting started on "the new me!" This is truly a new beginning and I am so excited about that!

As I get ready to go to bed tonight--I am so humbled by all the well wishes, kind notes, e-mails and texts from everyone. I am truly blessed with the greatest friends, family and colleagues. Thank you all for the love, encouragement and constant support. You all mean the world to me. Hugs XO

This Ain't No Picnic!!

Well day six of my liquid diet is coming to a close. I must say this is just about the hardest thing I have ever done. I have questioned my decision to do this surgery more than once! Not because I don't want it--but right now my stomach is the size that I am accustom to--but what I am putting into it is not! I have a constant headache, uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and have been zapped of all energy. It has not been fun! I am trying to keep a positive outlook on the entire thing and most days I feel like the little engine that could. I can't tell you how many times this week I have had to say to myself: "I think I can...I think I can...I think I can!!!" I have two day left and know that with the help of my wonderful husband (who is an AMAZING partner) I will be able to complete this portion of my journey!

The next concern lurking in the wings is not so much the surgery on Tuesday--but the fact that from midnight the night before--until the day after my surgery--I cannot have anything to drink--not even a sip of water! I am however aloud to swab my mouth--what the heck does that mean?!?! I am just looking forward to getting this whole thing over with and begin the healing process. As I sit here--my stomach seems to be talking to me--an activity I have gotten used to this week! Most of the time it seems to be screaming "FEED ME"!! I just scream back "SHUT UP!!!"

I'll close this entry with a quote that my girlfriend Beth sent me--in a note of encouragement that I got the other day. “Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain.” She then asked me if I was dancing--I texted her and said "I'm trying to dance--but it will be so much easier when I'm 100 pounds lighter!" When I finally reach that goal--I will definitely dance in the rain and everyplace else--in celebration of the new life I will have worked so hard to have!!

Day one of this journey...

Today was the first day of my eight day liquid diet. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be--of course the day is not over--and it is only the first day! :-) One week from tomorrow--I will have my surgery. I have been going through the planning and prep for this surgery since May. That first informational meeting seems so long ago in one way--and like yesterday in another. I never thought that the day would get here--and yet--it has.

 I have had a few "rocky" days this past week--questioning my decision. (A meltdown or two!!) I guess when it comes down to it--it is a sense of fear that is causing me to question. Not so much a fear of the surgery, but a fear of change. Those people who know me--know that I don't like change. I am expecting huge changes in my life and I don't know if I'm fully prepared to deal with those changes. You see, I like who I am and have always been comfortable with the person I see in the mirror. However, I also like life--and I know that I am shortening mine--without losing weight and keeping it off! For years--I wouldn't even consider having this surgery because I thought it was "the easy way" out. Oh how wrong I was!! This has been the hardest thing I have ever done--and the hardest part is yet to come (I think).

The only reason I know I can do this is because I am truly blessed with a wonderful support system--a great family, wonderful friends and some incredible former students that I love like they were my own! With everyone's support and encouragement--I can't help but succeed in accomplishing this goal!

I'm going to close this entry with a quote that was on the front of a card that my college roommate and best friend sent me today (in support of me and my journey.) The cover said: "He who dares not grasp the thorn should never crave the rose." The inside read: "I'm so proud of you for being brave enough to try." Until I got that card--I never really thought of myself as brave--but I guess I am. Funny how friends instinctively know just when you need an encouraging word! I guess I'm strong enough to do this another day!!

Some news on the house front...We are scheduled for settlement on our loan for the house on January 22, 2014--I guess this is finally going to happen!!!